Commit, Week One

If you know me personally, you know that I am easily discouraged.  I fight through it because I am determined not to live with regrets, but I am very easily discouraged.  You know that episode of 30 Rock, when Liz Lemon starts getting her life on track and then a plastic bag flies into a tree outside of her window and she totally loses it and forgets about getting her life together?  Yeah, that’s me.

So my word this year makes me nervous.  I see it as a commitment to continuing to do things, even when they make me feel frustrated or tired.   However, it’s the good kind of nervous.  The excited kind of nervous.  *sips coffee and denies that caffeine has any effect on this nervousness*

This first week of 2017, I had to assert myself at work, and I had to be honest and open with my family about the side effects of my new medicine.  I had the overwhelming urge to hide and convince myself that I didn’t actually have to do either of those things, but I did them anyway.  I was committed to it.  I wanted to.

Beyond that, I didn’t cancel any of my social plans.  You guys, this is honestly one of my favorite things, and I don’t like it about myself.  I want to see people, and I want to be alone, but I don’t want to go back on plans.  So any plans I made, I followed through.

I also had to get my ass to the gym, even though winter finally started to arrive in Nevada.  I swam the longest mile ever last night, and biked/ran 2.5 miles today.  I made myself breakfast this morning.  I woke up at 7:30 to workout.  I’m not saying it was easy, but I did it.  I’m not saying I didn’t listen to the angriest of alt rock music while I imagined what it would be like to punch the bro on the cycle ahead of me.  But I did it.

Here’s the big finish, though: This week, I accomplished and followed through with everything I wanted to do.  Even the tough stuff.  The feeling that I have knowing that is what I was hoping for when I picked this word.

And I’ll be honest, my med change mixed with this accomplishment makes me feel good.


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