If you know me personally, you know that I am easily discouraged. I fight through it because I am determined not to live with regrets, but I am very easily discouraged. You know that episode of 30 Rock, when Liz Lemon starts getting her life on track and then a plastic bag flies into a tree outside of her window and she totally loses it and forgets about getting her life together? Yeah, that’s me.
So my word this year makes me nervous. I see it as a commitment to continuing to do things, even when they make me feel frustrated or tired. However, it’s the good kind of nervous. The excited kind of nervous. *sips coffee and denies that caffeine has any effect on this nervousness*
This first week of 2017, I had to assert myself at work, and I had to be honest and open with my family about the side effects of my new medicine. I had the overwhelming urge to hide and convince myself that I didn’t actually have to do either of those things, but I did them anyway. I was committed to it. I wanted to.
Beyond that, I didn’t cancel any of my social plans. You guys, this is honestly one of my favorite things, and I don’t like it about myself. I want to see people, and I want to be alone, but I don’t want to go back on plans. So any plans I made, I followed through.
I also had to get my ass to the gym, even though winter finally started to arrive in Nevada. I swam the longest mile ever last night, and biked/ran 2.5 miles today. I made myself breakfast this morning. I woke up at 7:30 to workout. I’m not saying it was easy, but I did it. I’m not saying I didn’t listen to the angriest of alt rock music while I imagined what it would be like to punch the bro on the cycle ahead of me. But I did it.
Here’s the big finish, though: This week, I accomplished and followed through with everything I wanted to do. Even the tough stuff. The feeling that I have knowing that is what I was hoping for when I picked this word.
And I’ll be honest, my med change mixed with this accomplishment makes me feel good.